Day 2

Well it was pretty uneventful beyond the fact that I just would cry randomly. At work, I would be just talking about work stuff and then feel a wave of ickyness and sadness and just tear up! How annoying! lol

I haven't seen him. Haven't talked to him. Which is pretty weird seeing as how we are married but I guess that's how it goes. My counselor suggested I write him a letter. I kind of talked over that part because I didn't want to think about it but maybe I should. get all my ick out. Not to give him, I think, just to clear me up. That makes me sound constipated.

Sara Evans came out with a new song on the 14th-A Little Bit Stronger-it has become my theme song for the past two days.

My kids are doing ok. A couple of temper flare ups now and then. My oldest is trying to be the "man of the house". I have good kids. I have a great family even without him.

First Day

Well, my husband left today. What a way to start huh? It really wasn't a surprise or anything like that. We talked a little last night. I knew it would eventually come to this.

We have four children together. We spoke to them before he left. Their little faces were terrible. They are 14, 10, 9 and 6. I really didn't like him right then. I just wanted to say "Do you see? Stop being so selfish!" But, of course, it isn't just abut that.

I was doing ok until my 6 year old started singing a song about it only taking a second to smile and it'll make things ok. I about died. He said "Try and smile Mom".

So I don't really know what happens next. I don't know if we are getting divorced. I don't know if I'll hear the alarm in the morning-he always wakes everyone up. How am I going to sleep in a quiet room? I didn't want to end up like that. Divorced.  I'm not even sure why I started this blog. A way to vent.

Maybe tomorrow will be better :)